Extra-Strength Faith

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of going to the funeral the wife of a teacher at my new school. I didn't personally know this family but I had heard so much of their faith and just wanted to go. I got their early (I know, shocking) and watched as at least 800 people filled the seats of the E-Free church in Lethbridge to celebrate another faithful life and mourn the void left by this loss.

Something began to occur to me as I sat there and attempted to make sense of the events of the past few weeks. When does the world see Jesus?

My first experience with death (second hand experience obviously) was during my first semester at Bible College. I received the sudden and tragic news that my goddaughter Jani, a 9-month old baby girl from our church, had passed away suddenly of meningitis. I struggled to and failed to make sense of this tragedy. People always seem to say, “There’s a reason for everything…” but from personal experience, it unfortunately seems to offer little comfort in a grievous moment.

After some months had passed, I remember her mother standing in front of the church saying, “I’m here today to tell you that God is faithful.” I’m fairly confident that she hadn’t had a revelation answering the questions of why this had happened, but she didn’t seem to need to. I sat there and thought, if she can say that God is faithful, it really must be true.

The teacher at my school sent an email out to all the staff members at the school after his wife passed away, which eventually circulated in and out of educational and basketball circles throughout Canada. I don’t know how many thousands of people read his words, but they were truly a testimony of God's faithfulness. Only hours after his wife passed away he typed these words: “I am trusting that God will grant me the grace and wisdom to provide enough love to my kids to make up for the void that is now here. I have faith that He will see it through. That he wants me to trust him one step at a time.”

I was so encouraged and amazed by the strength granted through faith. This man has a 6-year old son, 4-year old daughter and newborn baby to raise now by himself, and seemed to be approaching it with a heavy dose of extra-strength faith. He concluded the funeral service by sharing his wife’s testimony of how she came to faith in Jesus Christ in University- carefully pausing to explain all Christian jargon to ensure that the message of hope was clear and the reason for her secured home in heaven. I sat there amazed at how many people- many who would probably not voluntarily be in a church otherwise- were there hearing about the faithfulness of God!

I cannot begin to understand nor am I trying to explain the why’s of so many tragic and early-seeming exits from this life but go with me just for a second here. During my dad’s journey with ALS, I had always assumed that a miraculous healing would have most definitely brought God the most glory. Until recently, I didn’t pause to consider that maybe, just maybe, my dad’s unwavering faith through one of the most disabling diseases out there could have glorified God, possibly more than a miracle healing? I don’t have the bird’s eye view of the mysterious ways of God but would it be possible that the faith of God’s people through the storms of life bring more glory to Him than a miracle?

I think the world sees Jesus when His people see Him. When a mother who has lost her baby girl can say, “God is faithful,” and when a widower and single-dad can say, “I have faith that He [God] will see me through,” and when a man suffering and dying from a horrible disease says, “Don’t let this discourage your faith in Christ. Following Jesus will leave no regrets,”- that is when the world takes notice and says, this Jesus must be real.

In the words of John Piper, God is the most glorified in us, when we are the most satisfied in him.

Kin-dom Pur-spuc-tve

Ang called me a few days and asked me to email her the video of dad talking about the "Kingdom Perspective" for a devotional she was preparing. I sent it off and she received it and previewed it on her TV at home.

Ethan wandered into the room with BIG eyes and exclaimed, "Papa can talk?!" He proceeded to watch the video repeatedly- rewind-play-rewind-play- twenty or so times. After the first few he turned to Ang and said, "Mama what's pur-spuc-tve?" (Big word for a 3 year old!) She did her best to explain it to him. He turned back and watched a few more times and then turned to her again and inquired, "Mama- what's kin-dom?"

My mom told me that she had talked with Ethan on the phone and he was quoting some of Papa's lines from the video- word for word! I had to get a piece of the action so I phoned and asked for Ethan. He told me about the "Papa movie" he watched and how he talked about "Pur-spuc-tve" and "kin-dom."

I was challenged by this wonderful 3-year-old (who also happens to supply much of the material on this blog!) I too have watched that video and been touched by it. He watched that exhortation with intense curiosity, trying to decode the meaning in his little 3-year-old brain. I have a few questions to ask myself along the same lines- in slightly more adult terms of course: 1)What does it truly look like to live with the perspective that everyday could be your last and with the goal of impacting the Kingdom of God as an urgent high priority? and 2) What do I need to do to align my own life with this outlook? I know the answer to the first question... just like Dad! The second may take a bit more pondering...

I'll attempt to explore the "how are they" question. Mom and Em are doing okay. Life is very different but they're finding a way. I think my mom is on her fourth consecutive day of writing thank-you's to the many many people who have helped and supported our family especially over the last few weeks. She mentioned something about permanent hand cramping... They've experienced the most change in the day to day dealings of "normal" life. Please continue to pray for peace of heart and healthy, faithful, hopeful grieving... whatever that looks like!

Fences and Faith

Last fall, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about having a relationship with Jesus. When it concluded he said, “I just don’t need God. I know this sounds bad, but something really bad would probably have to happen before I would turn to God.” I tried yet I struggled to understand that perspective.

This summer we built a fence to enclose our yard. (By “we” I of course mean Mike with help from a few friends. I supervised!) Our fence is west-facing. Anyone who has been to Lethbridge is no stranger to the 100km/hr winds often blowing furiously from the west.

To combat this frequent force, we knew we'd have to build something solid. We put in 9-ft steel posts into 3-ft deep holes and secured them with concrete. The fence boards are securely screwed onto 3 horizontal beams on the top, middle and bottom of the posts and then sealed by 3 more horixontal beams. It is one solid fence. I think I could ram it with my car and it wouldn’t budge.

Today happens to be one of those terribly windy days. It's howling outside as I type. I fear that if I step outside it may carry me off to Saskatchewan. It came with little warning. On Saturday, it was summery and warm and today, the biting wind makes summer seem like a distant memory! I'm glad the majority of it is done as I am trying to imagine how very crazy it would be to be screwing in fence boards on a day like today. I'm also trying to imagine what our neighbor would have said if when she approached us about starting our fence in the summer we had said, "Actually, we're waiting until the wind is blowing 100km/hr. We won't really need the shelter until then." She probably would have put her house up for sale! It seems bit foolish to wait for a storm. No thank-you. I'd rather do it without battling increment weather!

I was reading in Matthew 7 not too long ago and was reminded of how we live on a solid foundation: "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”

Many people, myself included, have been encouraged by the faith my dad had. It seems mysterious to some but I knew his secret. I saw it with my own eyes. Long before this particular storm came, he had been buildling a very strong house on the Rock. He got his bricks from the Bible and and found them to be true as he laid them out in his life. He didn't just read them but put them into practice. He didn't know the storm that would be coming but was ready for it because of the solid rock he knew he stood on.

I find this extremely challenging. I oftened wondered how I would respond if I were the one personally battling the disease. I want to be as prepared as he was and be found as faithful. I don't want to wait for my own personal storm to continue building a solid house. It's too risky! I want to be ready for whatever storms life may throw my way.

The fence didn’t go up in a day and solid faith is not built in a day. It takes many days. But it must start with one. Then another and another...

Count Your Blessings

Yesterday, the speaker at our church said, “You don’t have to be that old to realize that life is hard.” I couldn’t agree more. With that said, God is faithful and good and He always provides what we need. There have been a few instances over the last year when I have been especially thankful for ALS. I know that it sounds odd, crazy and possibly estranged, but I have a great deal to be thankful for and here's why:

Last summer I was working at a golf course down here in Lethbridge. A little girl and boy came in with their dad for a late dinner. The dad stepped out for a moment so I asked the girl, probably about 6 years old, where her mom was. My heart broke as she looked up at me with sad eyes and replied, “It’s called cancer.” Her mother had passed away two years earlier. Though at any age it seems like it’s too soon to lose a loved one, I thought, “Thank-you Lord that I’m not 6.”

Last fall I met someone who would become a dear friend. Her dad had passed away months earlier from ALS and frontal lobe dementia- a tragic and rare combination. Not only did he lose all physical function just like my dad, but he also lost his memory and much of his mental function. At one point she said to me, “At least your dad remembers who you are.” At that point I thought, “Thank-you Lord that it’s just ALS.”

Today is my first official day as a teacher-intern at a high school in Lethbridge. (Yes, I'm blogging when I should be lesson planning!) This weekend, one of the teachers here, who thankfully is a believer, lost his wife suddenly due to complications from a massive blood clot in her lung suddenly leaving behind a 6-year old son, 4-year old daughter and 4-day old baby girl. I thought, “Thank-you Lord for the years we had and that I had a year and a half to say good-bye to my dad.”

At any point life there are a number of circumstances that could discourage hope and faith. There are a few Biblical exhortations that come to mind. The first is from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17: “Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Our tough circumstances in life are not always God’s desire, but it is his will that we be thankful. Why? Simply put, we are his light on this earth. If we can praise God through the storms, what does that tell the world about the God that we serve?

Another that the Lord has reminded of is from James 1. “Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.” We can be joyful in the storms of life because we know that they God is his soverieignty can still use them for a good purpose and we know that this life is only preparation for the next.

John MacArthur compared this life to the back of a Persian rug. From our perspective it looks like a big group of jumbled threads that seem to be woven together in a mess. It’s not until we flip it over, possibly not until eternity, that we see the intricate tapestry woven together to create something beautiful and our faith in Romans 8:28 become sight: “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God who are called according to His purpose.”

As I think of the old hymn, Count Your Blessings, I have many to name one by one. I had my dad for almost 24 years of my life. He set an incredible example in faith and pointed me to everything I need for life and godliness. My dad was my dad right until the end. He did not lose his faith, his family or his mind. Until his last breath, he encouraged us to not let this disease discourage our faith in Christ. Until the very end, he gave practical advice and cracked his famous smile. Lastly, I had the gift of a long good-bye. Nothing was left unsaid. So many of us got a chance to thank him and encourage him in the impact he made. I am thankful for other believers in the family of faith. Thought we don't all know each other personally, we can support each other in prayer and be encouraged by the faith and hope displayed in tough times.

I praise God for situations that He uses, whether good or bad by the world’s standards, to show himself faithful to the lost word. My dad’s words from last summer come to mind at this point: “If you were to live with the perspective that today was your last day on earth, what would you do to impact the Kingdom of God?” I tend to think that all those around and myself included are invincible. Every so often, I am reminded of the fragility of this life. Everyday is truly a gift and I need to ask God to continuously remind to make His kingdom work my priority.

Donating to the ALS Society...

The online site is set up for the ALS Society of Alberta is up and running and ready to receive donations in memory of my dad. On the post on August 19, I mentioned the 3 ways "practical" ways to contribute in lieu of flowers if you were wishing to do so. Please visit the link below if you are wishing to donate or read the post "In Lieu of Flowers" for more information. Thank you!
http://www.als.ca/events/mysite.aspx?fid=3737

We are going to continue participating in Betty's Run for ALS every June. Store it somewhere in the catalog of your mind! Jesse's Girls was the second highest fundraising team this year! Whoo-hoo. Going for first next year...nothing wrong with a little competition for a good cause, right? :)

Hang or Cling

A common word of encouragement I have often heard, not just now but for any tough time is: "hang in there." When I think of that phrase, I picture one of those scenes from a movie where the character is hanging over a giant canyon or a black hole barely holding on to either a thin branch or rope or piece of wood that is about to give out. It's terrifying because you never know when or if you will fall and it's tiring because gravity is constantly pulling you down. Hanging in there doesn't really appeal to me.

Fortunately, we sang a song on Sunday that reminded me of plan 'B': "To the Rock I cling..." That gives me quite a different picture. I see a human barnacle (if you will) just stuck to a giant boulder- clinging, grasping with everything. If I cling to the solid Rock, I will naturally go where He goes. We were challenged on Sunday with this: "Don't waste the suffering." I know that God is continuing to do great things amidst this storm in whoever is willing to cling to Him. I want to cling. I think it's necessary in order to wisely spend the suffering.

Please continue to pray for our family, especially Emily and my mom. Today Em had her first day of grade 9. She had a tough moment when she was handed a parent contact info sheet with both parents names still on it. Today was also my mom's first day by herself at home. Though the house has been quiet over the last few months, it hasn't ever been empty. Dad had been the constant there. There were also plentyof caregivers and other health practitioners coming and going. I cannot imagine how big and empty that house must feel now.

Pray for faith-filled, clinging, healthy grief at this time and God's presence to continue to be felt in their home.

(Mom and Em taking all the flowers to Dad's grave at

Eden Brook Memorial Garden on Wednesday)

Through a Child's Eyes

Ethan has brought so much joy to all of us along this journey. I just wanted to take a minute to share some of his thought processes over the last few days. When my dad passed away, we asked Ethan where Papa went. He responded, without any hesitation, "He's wis (with) Jesus wis his new body and he can walk all by himself and talk all by himself AND, he can fix cars!" He knows that Papa is in heaven.

After he went down for a nap Saturday afternoon, Ang left to go to the viewing at the funeral home. When he woke up from his nap he asked Frankie where his mama was. When Frankie told him that she went to see Papa's body, he broke into a hysterical crying bout saying, "I don't want my mama to go to heaven yet! I want her to stay here!" It took about 10 minutes of Frankie assuring him that his mom had gone to see Papa's old body, not his new body in heaven, and that she would be back very soon before he would calm down. Poor little guy! I can only imagine the panic that would have overtaken his little mind as he thought his mama had gone to heaven to see Papa.

Ethan's shining moment though, was definitely at the cemetery. Gerry shared a few comforting words with our family and encouraged us to share the memories and the funny stories. He said, "Sometimes he (my dad) was just crazy!" of course meaning, sometimes he was hilarious, funny, had wild ideas... you get the picture. All of a sudden, Ethan very loudly whispered to Mike with the sincerest concern in his voice, "Was Papa crazy?!" And then said, "Crazy like this?" and proceeded to make a "crazy" face to Mike by blowing up his cheeks, pulling on his ears and wiggling his eye balls around.

We all had to bite our tongues. It seemed like an inappropriate time to laugh out loud yet an appropriate time to allow joy to overflow from his little heart to ours.

Dad's earthly resting place is 1903A4, Garden of Heritage, Eden Brook Memorial Garden. I know... kind of a strange address to post but a few people had asked about it!